


Want You To Be Ruined

by nervecore



Category: 3racha - Fandom, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Multi, enjoy, hope yall enjoy too, idk i like this, idk what happened tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 07:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20635322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nervecore/pseuds/nervecore
Summary: “ I want you to be ruined, I won’t hold youYou were my yesterday, my boo boo boo ”





	Want You To Be Ruined

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on @hellevetor on tumblr (might be deleted)

The storm outside was getting worse and worse by the minute, your eyes glued on the window, hands holding a cup of tea. Besides the raindrops you were hearing from outside, everything was quiet. Before, in these type of days, laughter could be heard from the living room, as you and him were having a good time. It wasn’t like this anymore. Every day, week and month, you were feeling him more distant. He stopped calling you when he was safely back to work or home, he stopped noticing when you need him the most, he started going out more and more, he started ignoring you and he just stopped caring about this damn relationship. You didn’t know why you were still hanging on a thin thread of hope. You were hoping it was just a weird phase. But it wasn’t and you knew that from how many times some of his friends tried to warn you. So then, what was giving you hope? The way his eyes still softened a bit when he looked at you? The way his tongue was rolling out these cute nicknames he gave you and which were making your heart rate go up? Just the fact you loved him so much?

Might be all three and more.

But you knew better. You knew you had to leave him at some point, if this continued. If. Though, you were fully aware you gave him already too many chances by now. And if you weren’t taking the decision then, you wouldn’t have how to escape anymore.

So you got up. Left the cup on the coffee table. Left the crumbled blanket on the couch. You took your luggage, from under his bed. Bed which used to be yours too at some point. But there was no time to get emotional once again. You started to look around the apartment for your things, throwing them into the luggage. You weren’t going to leave a note. You wanted to erase your track. Change your phone number. Social media. Move on the other side of the city. Forget about him.

But at the same time, something inside you was seeking revenge. And you knew the temptation was strong. You had to ignore it. You were not him. You couldn’t just play with his heart, that would be wrong.

And maybe satisfacatory…

No, that was not right. You had just one purpose: to leave. So you continued to pack your things, trying your best to not let your thoughts stray far away once again. Your instincts which craved to give Jisung worse than what you endured had to be forgotten. You weren’t like this. You weren’t a person who loved to see the others suffer.

Or were you?

Some flashbacks ran through your mind, giving you shivers down the spine. Memories you tried your best to forget. It was like karma was playing a role in all of this. You’d always think you fought for him, but in reality, you were just eliminating the rivalry. In which ways didn’t matter. But you realised your mistakes and you did root for a better you, who you achieved.

You sighed, finishing packing your things and zipping the luggage. You threw a jacket on and put on your shoes, dragging the suitcase after you, as you were leaving the apartment. You locked the door and left behind all the good things that ever happened to you and all the bad things you experienced lately. It was a bold decision. But you took it nonetheless, so now you were in a taxi, looking through the window and trying not to cry.

It was for the best.

Though, you never expected things to develop in a certain type of way.

“I miss the old you. This isn’t who you used to be.” the boy spoke up after some uncomfortable silence. “This isn’t who I used to love.” he continued and you just rolled your eyes, a sigh escaping your lips. You didn’t understand why you accepted to see him after two months of not talking to him. Maybe you fell into your own trap. No, no.

You surely did.

“The old me was a fool. Stupid. Way too caring. Easily to play with my feelings. That’s why I left you. You weren’t in love with the old me, you were in love with this me. The one who was reckless and fought for you in ways I don’t even want to mention. I became the old me, because I thought there won’t be any threat. This until you realised too how harmless I was.” you gritted your teeth, saying these words filled with venom.

“That’s not true…” he said after a bit of hesitation.

“It’s not true? Jisung, your friends told me so many times what you did and I ignored them thinking they were just trying to split us up. I should’ve left earlier.”

The boy stayed silent, the thick feeling in the air making it hard for him to breathe. What you were saying, he didn’t want to agree, but he felt in his guts you were right. He fell in love with the bad side of you. The dangerous side of you. The ‘ugly’ part. He felt devastated. He couldn’t imagine this was the truth. He wanted you desperately back in his life. He couldn’t stand the idea of someone else having you. He started to panic. He didn’t know what to say or to do.

“Please, let’s try again.” he whispered. “I’m sorry for what I have put you through.”

You started to laugh bitterly. Your laugh gave him shivers on his spine. And he hated that he was attracted to this. It made him feel ashamed. He wanted to hide. But he needed you. He needed you so much, it was insane. The effect you left on him was like a mark. It’s like in a way you just made him your own property.

And you were aware of that.

“It’s pretty late for apologizing, don’t you think?” you asked with a furrowed eyebrow and saw his face change. The emotions he was letting out were easy to pick up on. You tried your best to not smirk.

“Please.” he sounded so desperate. Like if you were to say no, it would kill him. Even if the answer was going to be yes, the result wasn’t going to be any different. You knew that. He knew that. But he was aching for everything that was you. Your smell, your figure in his arms, your way to make him go insane. Everything. It was a difficult love to understand. But the Universe has its ways to punish people.

“You sound pathetic, you know?”

His face started to get a tint of pink out of embarrassment. He couldn’t believe what he was doing, but it felt like the right way, even if he was looking hopeless.

“I want you to be ruined. And thinking about it, you know, it makes me feel great. I’m even considering to say yes, just to feel like if I have you in my grip, it will hurt more.”

“So is it a yes…?”

This boy, really.

“Let’s take a walk.” you only said and got up, making vague gestures to Jisung. “Just follow me and until we reach what I am looking for, you aren’t allowed to say a word.” you told him and he just nodded, leaving the cafe along with you.

The walk was, indeed, very quiet. You didn’t know if he was picking up on where you were taking him, but if he wasn’t, it was even better. The place? Where you two had your first kiss ever. It was a treehouse you both discovered long ago before the kiss. It was a nice memory. But you didn’t know the memory of today in there was going to be as happy. Or who knows, it might be even more amazing.

Once you two reached the place, he looked around and let out a gasp, remembering as soon as he saw the treehouse. He wanted to say something, but he reminded himself he isn’t allowed to speak up yet. So he just kept to himself, different expectations and question marks going through his mind. You walked up the stairs and opened the door of the house. It was just like one year ago. Welcoming and full of a lot of past experiences.

You turned to face Jisung and got closer to him, until you were just centimeters apart from him. There was a kind of tension in the air and you hoped it was the right one.

“Why do you think I brought you here?” you questioned him, looking at him from head to toe. The boy was taken aback by the question, but didn’t hesitate to answer, nonetheless.

“Because that’s where everything started?”

It was the right answer, so you grinned.

“And that’s where what was in the past will die and something new will be born.” you explained to him. You didn’t let him say something, as you closed the gap between you two and locked your lips with his. The kiss wasn’t anything like the kisses you used to have with him. It wasn’t soft, thoughtful, full of innocent love. This one was rough, full of passion and it tasted like something close to drugs. It was an addicting poison coming from a human being. And Jisung was doomed. Even more than before. He was nothing without you, but you were nothing without him too. He was your favourite victim and you were his favourite slow killer.


End file.
